Deuteronomy Parenting
Deuteronomy 6:6-9. You know the verses—the ones used a lot when talking about Christian parenting:
“These words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall:
- Teach them diligently to your children.
- Talk of them when you sit in your house, walk by the way, lie down, and rise.
- Bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
- Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
But what ARE “these words” (or “commands,” depending on your translation) I’m supposed to teach?
The answer isn’t just the 10 commandments. Every beautiful thing God commanded parents in Deuteronomy that day is found in the surrounding chapters.
To sum up: After a long haul, God is about to bring the Israelites across the Jordan into “the land of milk and honey”—the land they were supposed to have all along.
They will have a brand new life here—completely gifted with long and wonderful lives. They’ll leave a legacy—with a good heritage.
If they:
- Are thankful to God.
- Love Him (so much there’s no room for idols—not even the idol of self).
- Do good. Keep the commandments.
- Remember their testimonies. Not their fears.
Although some would say those verses are only about the commandments, all four of those are what we practice. Those are what we teach. That’s our parenting call in a nutshell.
Thank, Love, Obey, and Remember
All through Deuteronomy 4-8, you’ll read about remembering, being thankful, and sharing your testimonies with your children— each alongside teaching the commandments. However, the wording will vary based on the translation.
Here are some specific verses:
Deuteronomy:
- 4:9-10 …do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember…so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.
- 6:12 …be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you…out of the land of slavery.
- 8:2 Remember how the Lord your God led you…in the wilderness these forty years…
- 8:10-11 You will have all you want to eat, and you will give thanks to the LORD your God for the fertile land that he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.
- 8:18 But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.
If we teach just the ten commandments without gratitude or remembrance, we’re laying down the law without laying down love.
And the Israelites had so much to be thankful for—especially their new(ish) freedom.
They’re warned again and again: Remember. Thank. Praise. Stay focused on God. Don’t pivot toward idols. Keep his commands. Teach your children as you go about your day.
And isn’t that the best part?
We aren’t instructed to set aside huge chunks of time for teaching. This parenting priority can be done as we go about our day—a morning prayer, a conversation at breakfast, a song on the ride to school, a sendoff blessing in the school drop-off line—and those are just some morning possibilities! Simple. No extra time needed.
Dissecting the Four Deuteronomy Parenting Commands
Can we dissect each of the four for a minute? I mean, they’re so easy to gloss over. But some digging in unlocks their power.
1. Be Thankful to the Eternal God.
“To the Eternal God.” It’s one thing to be thankful and…be full. It’s another to recognize the Giver…and be emptied—of ourselves. We need both.
Keep a gratitude jar. Drop some folded strips of thanks into it regularly. You don’t even have to do it daily to hit that 25% happiness increase. Just walking past it on your nightstand is reminder enough to meditate on your thanks as you go about the vacuuming or your nighttime prayers.
2. No Idols.
Too many times I’ve caught myself making me the lord of my life—setting my own rules by reasoning instead of following His by obedience.
I don’t know where you are on your journey, fellow pioneer, but the farther I get, the more the idolizing learns to hide. And sneak. And worm its way in.
Don’t let it sneak by you. The other three will ensure you don’t.
3. Do Good. Keep the Commands.
If it was just the ten commandments we had to worry about, maybe it would be easier. But Jesus raised the bar.
In the original ten, we weren’t allowed to murder, but after Jesus, we’re not even allowed to hate.
In the original ten, we weren’t allowed adultery, but after Jesus, we’re not even allowed to lust.
What’s in our heads matters. And it’s easy to hide ugly stuff in there. But God sees.
4. Remember Your Testimonies. Dismember Your Fears.
There is so much beauty in this last one. And if we get this one right, it lets us do the others with ease.
The opposite of “remember” is not “forget.” It’s “dismember.”
When we don’t remember a piece of our lives—a piece of us—it fades. Given enough time, it is completely cut off. Lost. Dismembered.
When we remember, we fuse back together with it. If we sit in that memory long enough, the sights, smells, and tastes become vivid—as if we’re there right now. This is an incredible super power, fellow Pioneer.
Remembering God’s hand on your life fuses you both together again. It bonds you fresh.
And don’t we all need that from time to time?
So, remember:
- Remember His favor in underdog situations.
- Remember the coincidences that were not just coincidental.
- Remember the days He spoke to you.
And talk with other Christians about their testimonies.
Because those things are life-giving and we are hungry for them.
You’re building a legacy. Give yourself some daydreaming time today—some remembering time. Sit in some good memories and write them on a slip of paper. Invite your kids. Make a testimony or gratitude jar and drop your slips of papers in. Set it somewhere you’ll see often.
So much has already been dismembered, fellow Pioneer. Savor your memories. Let them come flooding back. Let them renew you and make you whole.
Bringing it Home
The problem is, if you’re like me, you’ll forget all this by tomorrow. I need a visible reminder until my mindset shifts—until my neuropathways rewire and my resting posture exhibits those four.
If you know me by now, you know I’ve got a printable for that. Because this shift in mindset isn’t one-and-done. This shift takes time. 90 days.
But it doesn’t have to take back-breaking stress.
Get our Deuteronomy Parenting printable FREE when you sign up for our newsletter! Then post it on your fridge. What could be easier?
Tally mark them as the days go by. Invite your kids to do it, too. Or just let them be a quiet reminder to reorient you.
Either way, watch all four become your resting posture in time.
See you soon, Mama! And happy printing!
P.S. If you like digging into scripture, you might like these posts: Teaching Our Daughters Proverbs 31- Correctly and Abraham and Isaac: Unlock the Story and Teach it Well.
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All through Deuteronomy 4-8, you’ll read about remembering, being thankful, and sharing your testimonies with your children— and teaching the commandments, of course. The wording will vary based on the translation. Here are some specifics:
4:9-10, 6:12, 6:20, 8:2, 8:4, 8:11, 8:18
In those, you’ll read things like “give thanks,” “remember your testimony,” and “do not forget” several times- and often in the same sentences that talk about teaching the commandments. They’re very connected.
Kindra